


Kiss of Life

by alwayswantedtobeawriter



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Alternate Canon, Boys Kissing, Cigars, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship/Love, Health Issues, Hospitalization, M/M, Major Character Injury, Near Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Character Death, Past Relationship(s), Smoking, crime and suspense, just a little :P, still in the process
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2018-12-13 19:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11766909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alwayswantedtobeawriter/pseuds/alwayswantedtobeawriter
Summary: Something happens between Casey and Severide in an unexpected situation. They need to find what that means and make their fans happy. Well, trying to be mysterious but Lol because the title and the tags... :P :)





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I am back! I can't believe it took so long to find my way back here, but I had my reasons. I really missed you guys and writing! I started writing this months months ago, then I lost my inspiration, then I've found it again. Not finished yet, open to suggestions. Which means maybe I won't be able to do regular updates like I did in my other fictions. It's a very short start but some of the future chapters almost ready. Here is what you need to know:
> 
> \- Again basically cannon because I mostly like canon stories, except Shay and Hallie alive and well here.  
> \- Consider it like it is sometime between season four and five, dawsey already broken up, no strip club and Anna SLs.  
> \- My English is not super.

If somebody told Kelly Severide a week ago that he would kiss Matt Casey, he would have laughed it off, trying to forget all about it, finding a million reasons why he shouldn’t do that. Why would he do it anyway? Casey was one of his best friends. They were both straight. It was just impossible.

Then why was he thinking about kissing Casey desperately at the moment and not laughing about it? It was a perfect timing. Almost… They were alone in a cold night, holding each other tight, looking into each other’s eyes… Yeah, everything was really perfect. Except, Casey was bleeding to death and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Matt, stay with me. Please…”


	2. Before

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter. I hope you like it. Thanks to you all for reading!

It was early morning at the station. Everybody was still sleeping, dead tired of the calls. Severide wasn’t one of them, because he had a mission. He needed to find Casey. He had tried to talk to him all day unsuccessfully. He wasn’t in his bed. Showers? Nope. Kitchen? Yeah. He was busy making coffee, lost in the thoughts. He thought if he should prank him by yelling. No, not an option… He could wake the others up and lose his chance to talk. He cleared his throat to announce his presence in the room and opened the topic directly.  


“How was your date?”  


That wasn’t the best way to start a conversation. Severide knew that, somehow he couldn’t stop himself asking. Casey stopped pouring his coffee, his eyes questioning.  


“It was nice. I liked her. She is smart, funny. She wants to see me again. Good morning to you too, by the way!”  


Severide ignored his sarcasm. He wasn’t sure why exactly, but he needed to know everything about his best friend’s love life. It was Casey’s second date after his break up with Dawson, which was months ago. Casey was acting like he was fine, despite feeling sad as fuck inside, as usual. It was nothing new, except there was a difference this time. Something had changed. Lately, he had lost his encouragement, isolating himself, smiling less and thinking more, blaming it on his alderman duties. Through the years, he had witnessed closely Casey’s life with Hallie and Dawson turning into a huge disappointment. He was hoping, this girl would help him to find his way back into life at least, so he could stop overthinking whatever was bothering him.  


“And?”  


“And I said I don’t want to see her again.”  


Severide was taken aback. What the…  


“The hell? You just said you liked her!”  


“Nah… It’s better to stay away. I would probably try to propose her after the third date then break up anyway.”  


Casey didn’t need to say it loud, that was almost what had happened with Hallie and Dawson. Severide made a joke to brighten the moment, like he read his dark thoughts.  


“Right. She could also be somebody’s ex-wife.”  


That earned a laugh from Casey, which made Severide smile sheepishly. At least he had made Casey laugh, that was a progress right? He took it as a sign to push the subject a bit more. He was determined to get through behind his attitude. Had really Casey lost all his hope? That shouldn’t have happened to him. It was hurting him extra to see his friend sad, because he knew the feeling of losing hope. It was his middle name. He was always living in the dark side of the moon, even before life showed him its ugly face. He had never admitted it to Casey, probably he would never, but Casey was one of his lights in this darkness. Helping Casey would also help him to get through his own depression. Two birds with one stone! They both had been coming from broken families. Casey had seen the worst, still had managed to stay optimistic unlike him. He was adoring him secretly because of it. He had to bring his friend’s smile back to life again, so he could find his way in the dark. Why was he acting like a true romantic? If Shay knew this, she would never stop teasing him.  


“Seriously. What the hell is wrong with you?”  


Casey took a long sip from his coffee before talking. Obviously, he was trying to earn some time to find lame excuses.  


“Look who is talking! Didn’t you screw up your first date with that lady last night?”  


“It’s different.”  


“You forgot her name.”  


“She was boring. And don’t try to change the subject. We’re talking about you.”  


“Just drop it. I don’t have time for relationships. You know that.”  


Severide knew it was a lie. Casey’s voice had lost his humor, his eyes were pleading him to stop. For a second, he wanted to shake Casey, like he could clear the dark air around him, demand him to get it together, but he held himself. It wasn’t gonna work obviously. He had to find another way to reach him. Suddenly he had an idea. He opened his eyes wildly, lowered his voice and held Casey’s arms.  


“You know what? You are coming with me tomorrow after shift. My dad is in the town. He invited me for a fancy boring dinner. I guess he wants me to meet his new girlfriend.”  


Casey smirked, mimicking him.  


“What is going on with you today? Did you drink too much energy drink or something? And why are we whispering?”  


“Come on! I would ask Shay but she has a date. If you come, I can stop torturing myself and my dad.”  


“No way. I'm not gonna come between you and your dad. I don’t even think he likes me.”  


“Shut up. Everybody likes you.”  


“I'm really not in the mood for a fancy dinner. What am I gonna wear anyway?”  


“Wear your pajama pants, bunker gear… I don’t care. Everything looks good on you.”  


Severide mentally slapped himself for saying that. Seriously why did he say that? Casey was asking himself the same question.  


“OK. It’s settled then. Be ready.”  


Severide left before Casey say another word. He wasn’t gonna accept no as an answer for sure. The message was loud and clear. Casey looked after him, his mouth still open.  


****  


Severide was fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror, preparing for the night. Shay was watching him behind smiling, a wise expression settled on her face. He knew that look. She knew something. Something he didn’t even know he knew probably. _What?!_  
  


“What?”  


“You're spending too much effort for a dinner you don’t want to go.”  


“I'm just fixing my hair.”  


“Yes. For TEN minutes. Like you have hair enough for that… Also, you're wearing your fave shirt and taking your bike, actually which means that you don’t have to make your hair if you wear your helmet. It’s gonna be messed up anyway.”  


Severide stopped what he was doing and faced her. She had a point, his hair didn’t need fixing. Why did she have to be so smart?  


“Who is the lucky girl?”  


“Pfff… No one. Just taking Casey.”  


Shay’s eyes widened comically.  


“You are gonna ride with Casey?”  


“Don’t get me started, Shay. I am gonna be late.”  


He took his leather jacket, his keys, his phone and helmet. He was ready to go. He gave her a quick kiss on the chick as she was slapping his ass with a kinky face.  


“Say hi to Casey from me.”  


Severide rolled his eyes. When was she gonna stop?  


When he arrived at Casey’s home, he found him standing outside his door. He was wearing a blue button-down shirt and jeans, perfectly fitting his body. Severide took a look at him quickly as he was looking at Severide’s bike, stunned.  


“Where is you car?”  


Severide tossed his helmet.

“We are not taking my car, as you see.”  


“We can take my car if you want?” Casey tried sheepishly.  


“Come on, get in. It will just take five minutes to get there. The weather is beautiful.”  


After hesitating for a few seconds, Casey gave in. He wore the helmet and sat back, one hand on Severide’s waist, other hand holding his shoulder tightly. Severide couldn’t stop smiling when he felt Casey’s touch.  


“Hold tight!” He said, hitting the gas.  


And Casey did exactly what he said. He held him tighter in every turn and Severide’s smile got bigger because of it. He remembered Shay’s kinky smile. Shay and her lovely lesbianism… It must have been tricking his mind. He finally stopped and parked near a restaurant, having a slight disappointment because of losing the contact he had with Casey. _Damn Shay…_ He took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready to face his dad and his girlfriend at all. He was so glad Casey was there with him, because he was sure he was gonna explode at some point. And he wasn’t wrong. The first shock hit him when they saw his dad’s girlfriend. She looked much much younger than him! How old was she dammit? The second shock hit, when she opened her mouth.  


“Oh, I didn’t know you’re gay! You guys look so cute!”  


Severide’s first thought was to tell her that they were just friends but then he saw his dad’s what the fuck face and Casey trying to hide his laugh. OK, maybe the dinner wasn’t gonna be as bad as he thought. All of a sudden, he took Casey’s hand by surprise and winked to make the unforgettable night some more unforgettable. When Casey’s smile got bigger and his dad’s face puzzled more, he knew it was worth doing that. Why was he doing it? Why was it so easy to act like he was Casey’s boyfriend? That was a question for another time.  


*******  


Later that night, when Severide took Casey back to his home, they were still both laughing about the dinner.  


“Did you see my dad’s face?”  


“He was shocked. I think he really believed in the end we date.”  


“I’m glad you came.”  


“Me, too. I had forgotten how to have fun lately. Thanks for reminding me.”  


After hesitating for a few seconds, Severide took the opportunity. Casey was the one opening the subject, not him. It was worth a shot.  


“We should do this more often. Just you and me, cigars, beers… We can talk about women. We can talk about what’s bothering you…”  


Casey chose to ignore him, smiling shyly. He tossed the helmet in his hand back to Severide.  


“Thanks for the ride, man.”  


Severide sighed. He was dissappointed.  


“OK, no pushing.”  


“Thanks. See you at shift.”  


“Good night.”  


He unwillingly accepted the night was over. It was time to go. He waved and hit the gas.  


Casey watched him leaving until he disappeared around the corner of the street. He actually didn’t want the night to end. He knew he could talk to Severide about anything, he was so lucky to have him. But it was too late and he wasn’t in the mood of talking serious things. He just didn’t want to break the moment with his problems. It was one of the best days he had lately, he wanted it to stay like this. His problems could wait a bit longer. Speaking of his problems, for a second he thought he saw a movement in the shadows. He got goose bumps. He couldn’t shake the feeling he was being watched. He was having it a lot lately. Dealing with dirty politicians and gang members as an alderman… It was making him paranoid. That was all. That’s what he told himself at least. At that moment, he knew he wouldn’t be able to sleep that night. He wished Severide was still there with him. They could have had a boys night, so he could’ve stopped overthinking. Nope, he had missed that train already. Another cold, lonely night was ahead of him. Then he was gonna take it as a man! He was gonna lay on his couch and watch a stupid channel all damn night, holding a pillow. He was running into the burning buildings all day, ok not all day but some days,  he wasn’t gonna let that stupid shadow to scare him.


	3. The Moment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the moment. The kiss of life! Kind of... :D Sit back and read. I hope you like it!
> 
> *****

“What are we gonna do there exactly?”  


“Whatever you want. We can lie down on the couch, watch TV and drink beer all day. We can fish and drink beer.”  


“Or we can drink beer and then drink more.”  


Casey was happy as a kid in a candy store. Why wouldn’t he? He was on his way of a weekend trip with his best friend. And the best part was it was all unplanned. If there is one thing he had learned in his journey through the life, it was that the best things in life are the unplanned ones. The plans had never worked for him, like his plans to have a family first with Hallie, then Dawson. Overthinking took him nowhere, his best rescues were always the spontaneous. Unfortunately life had taught him another thing, it was that every good thing comes with a price. Firefighting was his dream job but he had to live with the memories of the people he couldn’t save. Yeah, helping people as the alderman was one the greatest opportunities he had ever had. It also meant struggling bureaucratic obstacles, stupid politicians, official papers, dealing with strangers… On top of that, he was feeling lonely more than ever in this crowd. He was happy to leave all the drama behind for once. His brain was telling him to walk away a lot lately. Strangely enough, Severide was acting like his brain and telling him to do same. He had become his biggest moral support, instead of dating woman. He didn’t know he needed it until the night they spent together with Benny. The guy had an irresistible charm for sure. He wondered if it was why women couldn’t resist him. _Dammit …_ Why the hell was he thinking about Severide’s charm?

He glanced at his friend driving. It was almost midnight, his eyes were fully focused on the empty road. He had never seen him being that careful in the car before. It made him laugh.  
  
“You sure you know where you’re going?”  
  
Severide threw him a look pretending heartbroken.  
  
“Are you kidding? I am the expert here. I’m a walking GPS."  
  
He couldn’t help himself and smiled like an idiot. When Casey smiled, it was happening automatically. They would have a great time together. It would be just them and the nature. He had called his dad to tell that Casey and him weren’t dating, it was all just a joke but somehow he had ended up asking if he knew a good place for the weekend. In the middle of his dad’s endless relationship advices, he had decided the guy didn’t need to know they weren’t dating and Casey didn’t need to know Benny didn’t know. Plus, a trip with only two of them could be a good excuse to learn what was going on in his friend’s mind. He wasn’t talking much. At least now he would have no excuse to escape. Even if he can’t learn anything, he knew they would have so much fun together like they used to have. He had missed that. He took a look at Casey, who seemed so tired. At least that stressful look he wore recently was fading away.

Right at the moment, he saw in the side mirror that there was a black van approaching them behind fastly. The road was empty two seconds ago, where the hell did it came from? He could swear he had seen the same damn car before. Where? Firestation? Near Molly’s? Maybe Casey had seen it, too.  
  
“Hey Casey…” He said and he couldn’t finish his sentence.  
  
Everything happened so fast, and yet felt like forever. The van rammed into Casey’s side directly. The sound of metal crashing metal, breaking windows, the nerve wracking brake… It felt so unreal. They rolled over several times, slamming to the right and left. Severide thanked god for the first time in a long time, for he could manage to remember wearing his belt. He heard someone cursing. He couldn’t be sure if it was him or Casey. Then it was over suddenly, the spinning had stopped. It was too quite, more than it should be. Fearfully, he opened his eyes. Everything was upside-down. Their car had landed on its back. He couldn’t even move a muscle at first, having a hard time to face the reality. There was no sign of the black van or any other car around. He smelled the fuel leaking from the car. That was when he came to all his senses. The firefighter in him had woken up. He had to get out of the car immediately, not because he thought the car was gonna explode or something, it was just hard to breathe properly, because the inflated air-bag  was blocking his face and standing upside-down wasn’t helping either. He made a quick check his body, he was feeling well, except a few cuts in his hand and face. He knew the impact of the crush would hit him later and didn’t care. He needed to know how Casey was. Why was he so quite?

“Casey? You OK?”  
  
No response. No movement. _Shit…_ His heart got faster like it was gonna jump out of his chest.  
He hoped Casey didn’t hit his head hard. He couldn’t see his friend’s face but certainly he was unconscious. He unbuckled his belt and tried open the door with no luck. It was stuck.He pushed himself harder to get out. It didn’t work either. He kicked the windscreen, which was already half broken. Within the seconds ,he was out and trying to open Casey’s door. Despite the damage, he could open it with some little effort.  
  
“Come on buddy…”  
  
Still, no response. Severide feared for the worst. He checked for his pulse with his trembling hands. Thankfully he was alive. He tried to wake him up one more time, shaking him lightly. This time it worked. Casey stirred, trying to open his eyes, groaning. 

“Kelly?” 

He was confused. He had wanted ask Severide why he was shaking him but ended up with _Kelly_. When his vision became clearer, he was astounded. He was upside-down in the middle of nowhere in a cold night. He had an accident? He looked up Severide’s eyes for the answers.  
  
“We just had an accident. We were going for a trip, remember?”  
  
Casey nodded. He remembered everything. All of a sudden his eyes filled with worry.  
  
“You OK?”  
  
Severide let himself relax a little and laughed. That was his Casey.  
  
“Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Let's get you out first.”  
  
Of course, it wasn’t gonna be that easy. He unbuckled Casey’s belt, not letting him fall. That was when he noticed wetness on his shirt. Casey followed his gaze and saw the blood. There was a piece of bloody glass laying on the ground.  
  
“Well, that explains why my stomach hurts like hell. Also, I think my leg is broken.”  
  
Severide couldn’t believe Casey’s luck. Like the car crash wasn’t enough, he had to deal with some more extra trouble. Like the fucking broken glasses cutting him. He needed to help him, he had to be fast. _Think…_ First where the fuck was his phone?  
  
“Here… Take this.”  
  
Casey gave him his. He would call for help himself but he had no strength enough to talk. Everything was hurting, his mind was cloudy. He was feeling cold. He barely heard Severide talking on the phone. He was half awake when Severide dragging him out. He didn’t even realize Severide’s hand pressing his wound, trying to stop the bleeding and his eyes not leaving his for a second in the whole process. A voice was telling him to let it go. Maybe that was it, that was the moment his life ended. All he had to do was to close his eyes. He would feel nothing. He wondered if that was what Darden felt before he died. The poor guy probably didn’t even see what was coming. His dad, on the other hand, probably knew he was gonna die when he saw his mom holding the gun. Wow, his family was really a nuclear disaster. Why was he bothering to built one for himself? Sometimes he was questioning his obsession to get married, to have a family. Like now, as he was dying. So what, that would be his last thoughts? The loss of blood, his brain getting less oxygen… That could be the reason. He looked right into Severide’s eyes, clenching his hands in his arms. He wanted to say something, something meaningful but nothing came.

Severide could see Casey was trying hard to stay awake. He felt so desperate. His hands were covered in blood. With Casey’s blood… He had never seen him that pale before, not even when he had cracked his skull. He felt his hands in his arms loosening. Casey was losing the fight. Where was the help _dammit?_ The 911 operator had told they would be quick.  
  
“Matt, stay with me. Please…”  
  
He considered slapping and shaking him, telling him that he can’t die. Yeah, that was what he should have done. Instead, he just grabbed Casey’s face and kissed him on the lips. Like Casey was his sleeping beauty and he was his prince charm. He would joke about it, if the case wasn’t urgent. They both would be. He wasn’t even sure why he was doing it. To help Casey to stay awake? To calm himself down? It didn’t matter, because it was working. His quick, innocent kiss was enough to wake Casey up from his cloudy near death thoughts and maybe the death itself.  
  
Casey opened his eyes like he was seeing Severide for the first time, in a different light. He remembered what happened, where he was. He already knew, but now he was really aware of it. He was so close to death. Did he really deserve to die like this? Did Severide deserve to witness his death? He had dreams, he had things to do. He had so many things to tell Severide. It hit him like a hammer. He wasn’t ready to go. It was unfair.  
  
“I don’t wanna die.” He said. Not in a million years did he think he would tell this to anybody.  
  
Severide was caught unprepared too. He felt like a few years from his life was stolen. Something died inside him. This moment would chase him in his nightmares until forever. He would see he couldn’t save Casey, kill himself a thousand times in that little moment because of it. He started cry without even realizing.

“The help is coming. Hang on.”  
  
He heard in the back the familiar sounds approaching. _Finally…_ He had never imagined he would be happy to hear the sirens.  
  
“See? You are gonna be fine.” 

Yeah, Casey would be fine maybe, but never be the same. Neither himself…


	4. After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I feel so ashamed for making you guys wait that long! The truth is when I first finished this chapter, it didn't satisfy me. I decided I should wait. Sometimes it happens. I feel like I need to change a sentence, but I can't find the right words. This is exactly what happened to me here in this story. I waited a bit longer than I thought but I am glad I did. I rewrote so many things and I guess today is the day for the update. I feel so inspired lately, planning to finish this before the new year. We'll see. I hope you guys like it! I missed you guys :) All mistakes are mine! Enjoy...
> 
> *********

“It came from nowhere. I think it was following us. I’m sure I had seen it before.”

“Do you know who it could be?”

“I told that already. I DON’T KNOW. You know what? That’s all. I’m going with my friend. You can find me in the hospital if you want.”

Severide was frustrated. He had told the cops what happened three times already. Weren’t they listening? His next target was the paramedics working on Casey.

“Why are you still here? He should have been in the hospital by now!”

Casey’s broken leg was splinted. He was wearing a neckless. He was so pale and blinking heavily.

“Calm down, sir. We just came here. We had to stabilize him first. We stopped his bleeding. We will be in a hurry now. Anybody checked on you by the way?”

“Yeah yeah whatever… I’m coming with you.”

Within the seconds, they were on their way to the hospital and he was holding Casey’s hand, trying to stay calm while the P.I.C. trying to talk to his friend.

“Sir? Could you please look at me?”

Casey didn’t respond. He was feeling like he was under the water, blurry faces leaning on him, mumbling something.

Severide found himself on the edge of panicking. Why wasn’t Casey talking?

“Sir, please look at me. Do you remember what happened?”

If Severide heard _sir_ one more time, he was gonna punch the guy in the face. Instead, he focused on his friend trying to stay awake. The paramedic was just doing his job, he had to calm himself down.

“Hey. It’s me, Severide. We are taking you to the hospital, almost there. How do you feel?”  
  
Casey just gave him a long blank look, like he didn’t understand him at all.

“Casey?”

He exchanged a look with the paramedic. Why wasn’t he doing anything? He was about to yell at the poor guy but Casey’s hand in his palm stopped him. Casey had squeezed him slightly. He pulled his oxygen mask off awkwardly with his free hand, he was trying to tell him something.

“M Fine.” He managed to say hardly at last.

 _He was fine? Really? Bastard…_ Severide nodded, giving him his brightest smile. He wondered how many times he was gonna hear it from Casey in the next few days. He was in such a bad condition but still he was trying to assure him that he was fine, as always. If he caught the person who had done this to them, to him… _IF…_

“Keep talking. He responds to your voice. He needs to stay awake.”

For a second, Severide was ashamed of himself for wanting to punch the guy. He was just doing his best to treat his friend and calm him down at the same time. He was really good at it.

“Hey Casey, hang on, we’re almost there. Do you remember what happened?”

Casey nodded, that was the only thing he could do at the moment. It was enough for Severide. Naturally, the guy had no strength to talk.

“You know what? The nurses and the doctors will love you. You are cute, injured… A damn injured firefighter… I am gonna try to hide my charm from them just for you.”

Casey attempted to laugh, instead ended up with a painful expression. Because even smiling was hurtful.

“Alright. We came.”

Finally, they were in the hospital.

“Hey buddy, you’re in doctors’ hand now. See you soon.”

Severide watched them wheeling Casey away. They were shining lights into Casey’s eyes, poking his body, asking questions, yelling orders… It was a chaos, a nightmare he couldn’t wake up from. His eyes caught the blood on his shirt, then on his own hands, once more reminding him Casey’s desperate, lost, almost dying eyes. He would do anything to see Casey smiling again with his ocean blues, making him feel like he was the center of the world. That was the side effect of Casey’s looks on him and he had no idea until then. Life was weird.

“Sir? Are you here for Matt Casey?”

That was one of the doctors. His heart fastened once again. Today had taken many heart beats from his life for sure.

“What’s going on? Is he OK?”

“It seems that he has a minor internal bleeding. We’re taking him to the OR. This is our priority now, also blood loss. Then we will take care of his broken leg. He may need another operation for that, hopefully he won’t need it. It looks like a clean break.”

“Is he gonna be fine?”

“He is in good hands. That’s all I can say right now. You just sit down and wait to hear from me OK? In the mean time find some new clothes, call a friend, call his family. You shouldn’t be alone.”

The doctor was right. He needed clean clothes. He had to get rid of the blood. Immediately… He rushed to the nearest rest room. He washed the blood in his hand. He still had no idea where the hell his phone was but realised he still had Casey’s phone. He knew who to call. There was only one person he needed now.

“Hey…”

_Kelly? What are you doing with Casey’s phone in the middle of the night?_

Shay was confused of course. Severide couldn’t decide what to say.

_Hey everything alright?_

“Not really… We are in the hospital, Chicago Med. Before asking questions, please just come over and bring me a clean shirt. I will tell you everything. ”

Just like that he ended the call and found himself in the waiting room. He didn’t have to wait that long for Shay. When their eyes met, Severide let his tears down. Shay hugged him tightly before talking. He really needed that.

“Are you ok?”

Severide ignored her question and told what happened quickly, wondering how many times he would have to tell the same story over and over again to the others. He skipped some details like the fact that he kissed Casey or how Casey opened up about not wanting to die. Maybe It was their weakest moment, maybe it was their top...He couldn’ tell at the moment. Either way, nobody had to know that. Not because he thought they were gonna judge, just because it was special between him and Casey, it belonged to them only. He wanted it to stay that way.

“Wow… You know what, lets change your clothes first, then we can back to being miserable. OK? There is nothing we can do right now other than waiting. In the meantime, I will make some calls.”

It was why Severide loved Shay. She was direct, always knew what to do with him when he was lost, just like Casey. When he finished changing, he saw she was waiting for him with some coffee in her hand. It was gonna be a long, tough night. At least they wouldn’t be alone. After Shay made the calls, Boden was the first one joining them. Then Herrmann, Cruz and Mouch came. Dawson was the last one. Luckily they were all off shift. 51 was maybe the only true family he and Casey had, always supportive but harsh when it was needed. Shay did most of the talking. Moments became minutes, minutes became hours… Still there was no news from Casey. Severide felt like he was gonna lose his temper again. He was on the edge of yelling someone, AGAIN when he saw Casey’s doctor approaching. _About time!_

“Doc? How is he?”

She took a deep breath before talking. Was that a good sign or bad, Severide couldn’t tell.

“Operation was a success. We stopped the internal bleeding. It was caused by a small cut in his intestine apparently. He will need a special post-surgery diet for a few days but we expect full recovery. He has received blood transfusion. His broken leg on the other hand, will take longer to heal. It’s a clean break in his Tibia and Fibula, right through both bones in the middle of his right shin. We casted his leg. He is in a private room right now. He needs a good rest. I suggest you to go home and do the same. You can see him later in the morning.”

“Can I see him now?”

The doctor took another deep breath. Severide was sure she would say no.

“Yeah, but for a very short time.”

When doctor left, everybody looked at each other without knowing what to do. Boden took the lead as he always do in difficult situations.

“Alright, you heard the doctor. Casey needs a rest. We should go home and visit when he wakes up.”

He nodded at Severide lightly before he left, knowing he wasn’t planning leave the hospital anytime soon.

“Keep me posted.”

“I will.”

Shay was the only one stayed. He couldn’t wait any longer and found Casey’s room. He had to see him even if for a few seconds. The first thing he noticed when he entered was the sound of Casey’s breathing in the silence. _In, out… In, out…_ He could listen it all day. Casey was still pale but much better than he first came to the hospital. He was attached to some medicals and a heart monitor. Severide hesitated to touch him, thinking he could hurt him somehow, scared to wake him up. He sat down without making a noise in the chair near the bed, watching him carefully. He was just gonna stay there a little bit more and leave, as the doctor said. _Just for a few seconds more_ , he told himself. He closed his eyes to relax, just for a few seconds... His breathing matched up to Casey’s right before sleep took over him. 

 


	5. The Beginning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm so frustrated. I told I would finish this earlier and look at that! It's been months. *FACE PALM* . I didn't plan this, it just happened because I'm stuck in the middle of some chapters. Basically it's written as I said before but some important details needed kills me, taking my time. Whatever... I hope you guys are OK and enjoy this new chapter! :)) Again, sorry for the wait...
> 
> ******

Somebody was stroking his hair. Who was it? It was so relaxing, stopping him to open his eyes and making him wanna go back to sleep. _No…_ He gotta wake up. He had things to do, places to go, people to talk… Why was so hard to open his eyes? Why was his body aching?  
  
“Casey? Matt…”  
  
He knew that voice. Severide… He was in his bedroom? And stroking his hair? That didn’t make sense. Or did it? A misty memory of Severide kissing him hit. He remembered everything. It all came back so fast that he felt like the van hit him again. His heart monitor went crazy. He opened his eyes, panting and sweating.  
  
“Hey, hey calm down.”  
  
His eyes scanned the room and his body. He touched his stomach fearing. His leg was aching. He took deep breaths to calm himself down. He was in the hospital and safe. His eyes landed on Severide who was shit worried. Meanwhile, a nurse came and told she was gonna come back with the doctor.  
  
“Sorry…” His voice was groggy.  
  
Severide gave him a cup of water. Somehow his hand managed to find his way to Casey again, stroking his back lightly, he seemed he didn’t even realize he was doing it. It made Casey feel so good.  
  
“So… You uhm… remember what happened?” Severide asked fearing for the worst.  
  
“Yeah, I guess so. Not sure about what happened after the ambulance ride though. How long have I been out?”  
  
“Eighteen hours… Almost a day. You got me worried, man. The doctor said it’s expected in your condition. You know, the blood loss and the surgery…”  
  
“What surgery?”  
  
“The paramedics stopped the bleeding from the outside but you were also bleeding inside, so they had to operate you. I am sure the doctor will tell you all the details. Everything is alright now. You are gonna be fine.”  
  
“Thanks. I feel like a mess.”  
  
That made Severide chuckle. Casey rose his eyebrows in confusion.  
  
“What is that so funny?”  
  
“You didn’t say _I am fine_! You admit you’re a mess. That’s a huge progress.”  
  
“And you admitted you were worried about me.”  
  
“Yeah, I guess I did.”  
  
“I must be on drugs or something. What’s your excuse?”  
  
Severide just shrugged. He wished he knew the answer. He wanted to ask Casey if he remembered everything happened between them back in there after the crush. Better he should just wait for Casey to open the subject. It wasn’t their priority at the moment. He saw Casey frowning, like the times when he was trying to figure out something. Was he thinking the same thing with him?  
  
“What about the other driver?”  
  
That was a no then.  
  
“He just… vanished! CPD is working on it.”  
  
An awkward silence attacked. Casey was weighing the idea about telling his paranoid thoughts of somebody following him. Nah, he was gonna save it for the cops. He also wanted to ask about him stroking his hair and the little kiss he gave but he was interrupted. The nurse came back with the doctor as she said. They had a surprise. CPD was with them. The doctor told them to stay outside.  
  
“Lieutenant Casey… I’m your physician, Doctor Smith. Sorry about the…”, She said pointing at the two guys from PD. “They insist. How do you feel?”  
  
“It’s fine. Severide told me about the surgery. ”  
  
“Good. There was a minor bleeding in your intestine. Don’t eat or drink other than anything we gave you here until we tell you the otherwise. It’s important. Just for now…”  
  
Casey nodded. He had many questions to ask. First he let her check his vitals and stitches.  
  
“It looks good. You have to stay at the hospital for a week at least.”  
  
“What about my leg? How long is gonna take for me back to work?”  
  
“It’s too early to tell. Full recovery takes time in this condition. 12 weeks at least…”  
  
Casey felt sick. He wasn’t expecting a better answer but still… He looked at Severide, knowing he would understand how it made him feel. How the hell did he supposed to hold up with a broken leg for months? No firefighting, no construction… Like it wasn’t bad enough, the doctor reminded he had more problems to deal.  
  
“After releasing the hospital, you will need some help. You shouldn’t stay alone like this.”  
  
Casey felt so alone at the moment. He was always on his own since his childhood. Nobody was there when he needed the most. He could take care of himself as he always did, right? What else he could do? His sister? No. She wasn’t even there with him at the moment. His mom wasn’t an option. She had disappeared from his life. He was sure her parole officer had seen her more than him since she got out. Even though her mom willing to help, he wouldn’t want it. Not in a million year…  
  
“He will stay with me.” Severide told. His voice and body language was closed to any other options.  
  
Casey opened his mouth to protest. Nothing came.

The doctor gave a meaningful smile to them both. “I figured. I heard you stayed at the hospital last night.”  
  
“I fell asleep on the chair.” Severide said shyly.  
  
“Ok. That’s all for now. I told the nurse to bring you a crutch. You need to learn how to use it. Also, there is a morphine button near the bed if you need.”  
  
As soon as she left the room, CPD came. Casey couldn even find time to blink. Sleeping half a day wasn’t enough apparently, he was feeling extremely tired and sleepy despite all he did was a little talking with Severide and the doctor.  
  
“Alderman Casey. I’m Detective Greene. This is my partner, Detective Jones.  We’re working in your case. How are you feeling?”  
  
_Great_ , Casey thought. _Just almost died_ … He had just woken up and been asked how he was feeling twice already. What were people expecting him to say?  
  
“Great, as you see.” He said with fake enthusiasm. “Why a detective on this case? It was just a simple accident right?”  
  
Before the detective open his mouth, Severide told him about his suspicions.  
  
“Casey… I believe I saw the van hitting us before around the fire house. I guess it was following us.”  
  
Casey couldn't belive his ears. So what, he was right about the feel of being watched all this time? Is this all because of him? Severide might have died because of him?  
  
“You don’t seem surprised.” That was the detective with questioning eyes.  
  
Casey looked at Severide sadly to make sure his friend was alive and well.  
  
“I had this feeling of somebody following me. At home, in the calls, at the grocery… I just thought it was about me being the alderman. People recognize me here and there sometimes.”  
  
“Do you have any enemies?”  
  
“Pfff… I had many disagreements with people but calling them enemy? That’s absurd.”  
  
“Did you see any black van around lately?”  
  
“I don’t think so. Look, all I can tell is I had this feeling someone is watching me. Maybe I was wrong. Can’t it be just an accident?”  
  
“You are the alderman. We have to consider all the possibilities.”  
  
Severide felt he needed to take the charge, before the detective Green and his silent partner asking another question. He could see Casey barely holding. The guy needed his rest.  
  
“I don’t think we have anything else to say, detective. Me and my friend need some rest.”  
  
The detective nodded understandingly after sharing a quick look between Casey and Severide.  
  
“Alright, here is my card. You can call me anytime if you remember anything. We’ll update you on the case.”  
  
Right after they left, Casey closed his eyes letting all the feels hit him, faster and worse this time. His closest friend could’ve died. He had almost died. He had no idea when he could turn back to firefighting. He wasn’t even sure if he would fully recover. He was feeling weak, lonely and vulnerable. He was feeling so weak that he couldn’t even have the strength to get mad at the person did it to them. Whoever that is… He was living his worst nightmare and couldn’t wake up. He recalled a few memories of the crash victims they saved. Was this how they all felt? He wondered what they were doing now.  
  
“You OK, Casey?” Severide was still standing near his bed, watching him carefully.  
  
Casey shook his head.  “I don’t know.”  
  
It was the truth. He had no idea how to handle his situation.  
  
“How about you? Did they look at you?”  
  
Yeah, Casey wasn’t so good at handling his personal problems but he was a master of changing the subject.  
  
“I just have a few scratches. I’m totally fine.”  
  
Severide wasn’t totally fine of course. In addition to scratches, he had a few bruises and feeling pain. A combination of the car crash and sleeping in a chair all night. It wasn’t something he couldn’t handle. It was nothing compared to his friend’s condition.  
  
“Sev… Go home and have some rest. You look tired too. I have nothing to do except sleeping. You should do the same.”  
  
Normally Severide would insist to stay but something wasn’t normal. Casey was looking directly at him, holding his hand. Yeah, his hand… He was playing with his tip of fingers, almost flirting. Like it was a normal thing between them. He seemed he wasn’t exactly aware of it. Maybe it was all about the drugs in his system breaking down his walls. What should he do then? Smile like an idiot? He was already doing it. Just leave? He had his answer when Casey yawned. He looked so adorable but so tired.  
  
“Alright, I will talk to your doctor and leave for now. Chief won’t let me go back for a couple of shifts. I will be back soon. So don’t think you can get rid of me that easy.”  
  
Casey flashed his warmest smile.  “Yeah, I know.”  
  
Severide left him smiling, unwillingly. Casey had a point. He really, they both really needed a good quality sleep and some time alone to process everything. So he was gonna go home, take a shower and hit the bed. Little did he know, he wouldn’t be able to sleep thinking of how great Casey’s fingers and lips made him feel. It had only just begun.

 

 

 


	6. Progress

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again after a long break! I hope everyone is ok. I really appreciate your patience guys. I can count many excuses for why this story takes too long but I won't. Somehow my writing process is going really slow here. If you are still interested, please enjoy this new chapter! I will post the next one in a few days.
> 
> ******

“What’s up with you and Casey?”

Severide was having a quick breakfast with Shay in their apartment, meaning just drinking coffee. He really needed coffee. Because… First, he had a restless night after having half full of nightmares that he couldn’t save Casey and half full of beautiful dreams he kissed him. It was like he had won the lottery right after the bank took all of his money. Secondly, he was gonna go to hospital, so he didn’t wanna lose any time by eating food. And lastly, Shay had started questioning him. He had to be awake as much as possible to hold his tongue. So yeah, he needed tons of coffee. 

“What do you mean?”

“Oh please… What are you not telling me?”

“Nothing.”

“Alright, don’t tell. I’m gonna learn it anyway.”

He thought if it was the right time to tell her Casey was gonna stay with them. She would definitely be suspicious more and never let it go. He cleared his throat.

“Speaking of Casey, he is going to stay with us after the hospital.”

Shay copied him with a fake cough. There was that knowing smile on her face. 

“OK. He gotta take the couch in the living room. He can’t use the stairs with that leg after all.”

They had a guest room in the upstairs but Casey had to wait until he was able to use his leg properly. He cursed himself for not thinking it before. Their couch was comfortable but still not a bed. 

“Anyway. I’m going to see Casey. You wanna come?”

“Sure. I still have some time before shift.”

When they arrived at the hospital, there was some surprises waiting for them. Casey’s room was full of flowers and fruit baskets. And a visitor. The last person Severide expected to see, Hallie, Casey’s dream girl for once… Her hand was on Casey’s shoulder. They both had a smile. Casey’s face brightened when he saw them as Hallie’s face fell. He gave his biggest smile to Casey, greeting Hallie with a small nod and decided to stay silent, hoping Shay would lead the talk. Severide was never sure why but he knew Hallie never felt like she was a part of their team. It was always something bothered him. 

“Hey there Casey. You look better!”

“Thanks Shay. I really feel better.”

“And Hallie! Good to see you.”

That was Shay flirting. Sometimes he was thinking Shay had a thing for Hallie. Maybe just a little crush. Nothing more. He wondered if Dawson knew about it. That would be weird.

“Good to see you guys. I just wanted to check on Matt. Dr. Smith is one of my friends. She called me this morning.”

Severide noticed Hallie’s hand never left Casey while talking. He turned his head to the other side nervously. Did they interrupt their moment? Good then. He wasn’t in the mood of watching the two ex-lover’s stupid foreplay. Damn… What foreplay? She was just worried. The two were still friends, seeing each other time to time. She was a good person and a good doctor. It shouldn’t have bothered him. Just at the moment he convinced himself that she was just there as a concerned friend, she opened her mouth to ruin his bliss.

“Well I gotta go but before that, I was gonna ask you… I know it’s not the right time but after the hospital you are gonna need some medical help. I was just thinking you can stay with me, if you want.”

That was abrupt. Severide felt like she punched him. He saw Casey was as shocked as him.

“I,” Casey said shaking his head. Nothing came. He decided it was the right time to open his mouth.

“He is staying with me and Shay. No need…”

Dawson dived in the room showing her teeth in the middle of his sentence. So it was the official Casey’s ex-fiancees day then? 

“Hi guys…”

Right after Dawson’s hi, Hallie said bye and left the room. She was in a hurry. 

“OK then. I gotta go to the clinic. I’ll be in touch. Call me if you need.”

He shared a look with Casey and Shay. Casey’s face was so given up. Shay on the other hand, was trying hard not make a stupid face. He would think it was funny if he didn’t have that weird feeling he can’t recognize quite yet. Jealous? Mad? Maybe just tired? 

******

Three visitors, two nurse check and one doctor visit later Casey and Severide were finally alone in the room. Casey was trying to learn to walk with the crutches the nurse gave, while Severide was watching him quietly in the corner. He was too quiet, which scared Casey. He knew from the experience that it meant Severide must have been sad. After a few back and forth in the small room, he stood near him. The silence was so unberable. 

“So?”

Severide echoed him.

“So?”

“Come on Kel. Spill it. There is something in your mind.”

He ignored his question.

“Did you just call me Kel?”

“Yeah I did. You are not gonna tell me?”

“I will. First let me get you to the bed. You seem like you are about to fall. Doctor said you shouldn’t push your self, remember?”

The guy was right. Using the crutch was harder than Casey thought. His stitches weren’t helping either. He was sweating, his leg was aching, his wound was hurting. He was feeling pathetic. A hot shower would be awesome but guess what, he wasn’t allowed to do it yet. He gave himself up to Severide, who took his crutches and put his other hand around his waist to help him walk. Casey held his shoulder for more support. He was feeling better already. He thought about asking the moment they shared in the accident for a second, for the hundredth time in two days. Was it a dream? No it wasn’t. There was no doubt. When he lay down on the bed, he found himself disappointed for breaking the contact.

“So?” 

He hoped Severide would answer this time. Fortunately he surrendered without fighting. 

“Just… I was thinking who could do this. What if they come back?”

“I know. I’m worried too. Hallie thinks it’s Voight.”

He noticed Severide tensed more with the mention of Hallie and Voight.

“You think it’s him too? Come on, I don’t like or trust him but I know we left everything behind. He has no reason to do this anymore. I guess.”

“I can’t forget he tried to kill you. What about Hadley? The bastard tried to kill us many times before. Maybe…” 

“Wait wait. Let's calm down first OK? We can’t jump at the conclusions like that.”

Severide shrugged apologetically and sat down on his bed side facing him. He had a look. Casey knew that look. His friend was gonna do something stupid. He acted without thinking and hugged him as long as his stitches and leg allowed. Severide’s reaction was to hold him tighter. He could feel the guy’s tense muscles relaxing with his touch. Feeling safe in his arms like he never felt, Casey wished they didn’t need a stupid accident to do this. He broke the hug unwillingly to look at his sharp, blue eyes. He needed to be sure he understood his words. 

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid Sev. Let the PD do their job.”

Severide smiled knowingly. There was no trace of tension on his face anymore.

“Like you wouldn’t.”


	7. Revelation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is another one. It's all from Severide's eyes. Enjoy. Thanks everyone for reading, liking and commenting! The next chapter, Casey will be released from the hospital! DUN DUN.
> 
> ******

_Don’t do anything stupid_. One day, Severide would make it tattooed on his ass to remember. Wait, maybe somewhere else because it would be hard to read it from his own ass. _Whatever_ … Everytime he heard that words, his brain was getting triggered. So if Casey had told him not to do something stupid, of course he would have done the opposite. It was written in his DNA, what else could happen? He had decided to pay a visit to the usual suspects Hadley and Voight. Everything was normal at the beginning. Threatening words, sarcasm, psycho looks from Hadley… The idiot had made it sure how he was happy to see someone trying to kill them. Voight on the other hand, had yelled about how he wasn’t involved. Severide wished he had believed him in the first place. Instead, he had pushed Voight harder. Their piss fight had ended up with the dirty detective putting him in a cell with a drunken guy for an hour. The bastard had no right to do it. He had been saved by the detectives working on their case, detective Greene and his silent partner. They were like _why didn’t you come to us in the first place? We have to know everything bla bla…_

As a result, everyone was mad. Casey would be mad too when he heard. He would see his point at least, right? No, he really wasn’t sure at all and just because of it he was avoiding to see the man, sitting in the hospital cafeteria, finding dumb excuses. The last thing he wanted was to make his broken friend upset more. Unfortunately his excuses were over. He had nothing to do. The chief wasn’t expecting him to come till next shift. Also, he was dying to see Casey. He was spending all his time with him every fucking day, still it wasn’t enough. So yeah, no excuses. The decision was made. He was gonna go to see him to tell everything.

He went to Casey’s room without wasting any time. He arrived there just at the second the doctor left. Casey’s face was so serious. That was a bad sign. He swallowed, writing a million scenarios in his head. Did he need another surgery? Was he getting worse?

“Hey I just saw the doctor leaving. Everything alright? ”

“Hey… Yeah. She told me I could be released this weekend.”

“Really? That’s good! But?”

Casey hesitated before answering.

“She also reminded me how my life will be tough. I can’t walk, I can’t do anything. She had my medical records, thinks I should retire from the service.”

“Man, it’s too early to talk about it. We’re gonna get through this. Together.”

Working without Casey wasn’t an option for him. He was one of the bests he had ever seen. Despite their disagreements they could understand each other with one look. He recalled the days after his neck injury. He was so scared. So was Casey after his head trauma, now the man was living the same fear again. That wasn’t fair. Firefighting was all their life. They knew the risks but now the threat was nothing about it. It was a car accident, a possible attempt to kill. That’s why it was hurting much more.

“By the way… Detective Greene called me before you came.”

He appreciated Casey changing the subject. He really had nothing to make him feel better because he was feeling miserable himself emotionally.

“I guess he told.”

“Yeah.”

“Come on. What did you expect from me? Sit down?”

“I know. I would do the same.”

Surprisingly Casey didn’t argue, just approved. Severide knew he would see his point eventually but he was expecting him to fight. Maybe he was broken more than he seemed.

“For the record, I don’t think it’s Voight or Hadley. Hadley had no idea and Voight was concerned for a second. You should’ve seen him. It was really awkward.”

He made a funny face mimicking Voight, making the broken guy smile for the first time since he came. So maybe Casey’s state of mind wasn’t that desperate. Suddenly he felt better. Once again it amazed him to see how someone’s little smile could change his dark mood easily. And that someone was happening to be always Casey lately.

“You know what? Do me a favour. Take me to the outside.”

He could see Casey was sick of staying inside. Everybody would. He found a wheelchair and a blanket in a flash.

“I don’t need that. I’m fine enough to use…”

“I know! I just don’t want you to push yourself hard, OK? Baby steps.”

 _Fine my ass_ , Severide thought. Obviously he wasn’t, just hated to accept that. He positioned Casey on the chair and covered with the blanket between his mumbling protests.

They were in the garden after a short travel. They found a spot where the cold, windy Chicago winter licking, most likely slapping, their face. Casey didn’t seem to care. Everywhere was better than staying in the room for him probably. Was he still mad for the wheelchair? Severide couldn’t tell. He felt like he had to apologize but for what? No, he was gonna let the man of honor lead the conversation. He had his right to remain silent, otherwise everything he said would be used against him later. So he waited, then waited more. He’d had enough already in the third minute of silence. _Great._ He needed to hear Casey’s voice. He was about to open his mouth to tell something silly but Casey did it first. He was fucking relieved.

“Tamara came to see me this morning.”

“Who?”

“Tamara Jones. The lady who nominated me. I’m stepping down as alderman. I made a few phone calls and nominated her to fill my seat. ”

“ Wow. You sure you want this?”

“It’s right thing to do. She is a great leader, just doesn’t know it yet. I just want to be a firefighter.”

“Whatever you say man. Not gonna hide I hate the idea you in politics but you did a great job out there representing our voice.”

Casey looked at him like he was a unicorn or something. He made a fake grossed face.

“You just admitted I’m a good alderman.”

“Don’t worry. It’s not gonna happen again. Enjoy the moment.”

“I will. Do you have any cigar by any chance?”

“Actually yes.”

With his yes, Casey’s face brightened, he wasn’t expecting it as an answer for sure. Severide really had a cigar in his pocket, he had forgotten it was there. He pulled it out slowly to tease, acting like a magician. He was so proud himself for making his friend smile again. He lighted the cigar, took a long puff before handing it. Casey’s expression was worth everything. He held the cigar up to his mouth, draw the smoke with closed eyes and puffed with passion, enjoying every second of it.

Severide took his chance to get a closer look at the smoking guy in the day light. Messy hair, five o’clock shadow, blanket on his shoulders, cast on his leg... Still looking ridiculously hot. In this case, literally smoking hot. He had a revelation. _Damn._ He would fuck Casey right there right then if he believed he wanted the same. The idea didn’t scare him. No fear, no doubt or strangeness. Nothing. Only acceptance. He didn’t question the reason. Everything was so clear in his mind finally. He was desperately in love, his body and mind were ready.


End file.
